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Sunday: May 25, 2008

Gourmet Hot Dogs?

Filed under: — site admin @ 11:49 PM GMT-0500

InstaPundit quotes an AP story claiming that the cost of a package of hot dogs is up almost 7% in the last year to $4.29. I paid 99¢ each for my last two packs, on sale at Food Lion. Hot dogs keep for months in the refrigerator and years in the freezer, so there’s no reason ever to pay full price. What brand did I buy, and what kind of animal(s) were they made from? Who cares? Anyone who worries about the precise ingredients of his food shouldn’t be eating hot dogs in the first place. Even the priciest dog is, as Mencken put it, “a cartridge filled with the sweepings of the abattoir”. And even the cheapest dog tastes OK when broiled until semi-crispy.

As for buns, I put my hot dogs on semi-toasted folded white bread, with plenty of ketchup, mustard, and minced fresh onion. Even the traditional short stubby hot dogs stick out of the pseudo-bun on both ends as they ought to, and the bread holds the condiments at least as well as a bun, whose hinges tend to break under the strain of a well-slathered dog. Of course, bread is also generally cheaper than dedicated hot dog buns, and works well for hamburgers, too, especially if they’re square.


  1. You are not making hot dogs more attractive. If I was on the fence regarding hot dogs before, the phrase ‘sweeping of the abattoir’ did it for me. No hot dogs for me on this memorial day or ever.

    Cheers, RK

    Comment by RK — Monday: May 26, 2008 @ 4:22 PM GMT-0500

  2. Dr. Weevil, we’re of the same mind. Adding you to my daily blog-visit list. RK, tamp down that hyperactive imagination. It’s all parts-of-dead-animal, whether you’re eating porterhouse or ball park franks.

    Comment by ramona — Monday: May 26, 2008 @ 5:06 PM GMT-0500

  3. If that’s the way you feel about it, RK, I’ll eat your share while you contemplate the bacteriological soupthat is your own body.

    Comment by Random Numbers — Monday: May 26, 2008 @ 6:17 PM GMT-0500

  4. If you’re going to make them semi-crispy, wrap the dog in stip of BACON! Top with grilled peppers and cheese (and onions and salsa). Ay, que sabroso!

    Comment by mike anderson — Monday: May 26, 2008 @ 7:25 PM GMT-0500

  5. Watch “How its Made” or “Unwrapped” or “Modern Marvels” on TV and you can sometimes you can see video of them making sausages and such. It isn’t as bad as Dr. Weevil implies. BTW, I love hot dogs and usually get a bargain brand, whatever is on sale, usually only a buck or two a package.

    Comment by Sam — Monday: May 26, 2008 @ 7:25 PM GMT-0500

  6. There are the hot dogs made of animal lips. Those are 99 cents/package. Then there are hot dogs that taste wonderful, with fewer animal lips. Hebrew National is the best, they are about 3 bucks/pack.

    Comment by Lou Minatti — Monday: May 26, 2008 @ 7:34 PM GMT-0500

  7. Hebrew National are terribly sour Kosher dogs. BEST’s Kosher hot dogs are the best all beef franks out there.
    The best non-kosher are Kowalski hot dogs out of Hamtramack, Michigan. Either natural casing or not, these Pork/Beef dogs are so much better than the poultry infused dogs such as Ball Park Franks and practically every other dog out there.

    Comment by John M. — Monday: May 26, 2008 @ 11:17 PM GMT-0500

  8. Actually, I care quite a lot what goes into my hot dogs. We didn’t keep a kosher house but the brand I was raised with is Hebrew National. There are some other good kosher brands but HN is my default.

    Last week the Albertson’s chain ran a special where if you bought $20 worth of a certain selection of items, already a substantial discount, you got an additional $5 off at the register. Plus, I had several 75 cent coupons from the Sunday paper. Albertsons doesn’t double but they don’t care how many of the same coupon you use in a transaction either. So my cost per package of seven Hebrew National hot dogs came to $1.25.

    That was not even a particularly good shopping trip for me. I look upon exploiting coupons as a form of sport and regularly cause the checker’s eyebrows to raise when they see my final tally.

    Comment by epobirs — Tuesday: May 27, 2008 @ 3:09 AM GMT-0500

  9. Sometimes I go for the cheap hot dogs, sometimes I’ll go for the Hebrew National. It all depends on what I feel like. You’ve got the money, go pricey. Hebrew Nationals taste good. A damn sight better than the cheap stuff. And when you have the money it’s better to go pricey, because you get sick of the cheap crap fast and you can end up with a lot of money getting tossed out in the garbage.

    Believe me, it’s better to have a month’s supply of pricey than a years supply of cheap. Because after a month the cheap aint worth the price you paid for it.

    Comment by Alan Kellogg — Tuesday: May 27, 2008 @ 5:49 AM GMT-0500

  10. 99 cent hot dogs taste like they are 12 cents each. Chicken lip and pig uterus on a bun. Why not wash it down with a tall glass of your own bathwater? It’s cheap too.

    The all beef dogs are worth it. The taste is indescribably better. If it isn’t worth spending 50 cents on the dog, it isn’t worth eating. Cheap hot dogs? Might as well eat the lint swept from under the fridge…

    Comment by MEC2 — Tuesday: May 27, 2008 @ 3:47 PM GMT-0500

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