February 05, 2003
Too Bad For Fiction

A Dog's Life calls Mark Morford "America's Stupidest Columnist". According to Juan Gato, Emily Jones calls him "the worst writer who gets paid", though I haven't actually found where she says it. Gato and Joanne Jacobs have both mocked his latest nonsense about how "plethoric and distressed must be the bewildered youth of America right about now". From their silence, I suspect that none of them has read his on-line mini-autobiography, About Mark Morford, which I quote here for those who do not already know it:

Mark Morford is a columnist and editor for sfgate.com. He is also a yoga teacher and fiction writer and an outstanding parallel parker and fervent wine devotee and former smoker and former LA rock-god wannabe and careful insinuator and occasional unfair mudslinger and frequent skeptic and sporadic true believer and paradoxical contrarian and tattooed love-monkey and vehement non-conservative and casual coffee drinker and ardent dog lover and medium sleeper and comparison shopper and funky subtle prurient neo-pagan gleaner of screaming delicious naked nuances.

The claim to be an "ardent dog lover" is a particularly nice touch. Does he even know what "ardent" means? It comes from the Latin participle ardens, which means "flaming", and tends to imply a passion that is more than Platonic.

Surely Morford is just another CIA deep-cover employee working to discredit the left but getting a little carried away? If he's not careful, he'll blow his cover.

Posted by Dr. Weevil at February 05, 2003 07:47 PM

Dr. Weevil- My question has nothing to do with this post. The USS Ronald Reagan is currently being built. I believe that her motto on her coat of arms should be "Serious Consequences" in Latin. How should that read?

Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech on February 5, 2003 08:12 PM

You have already given Mark Morford more time and space than anything he has written deserves. I live and work in the S.F. Bay area, and occasionally I have reason to be curious as to what sort of drivel he's spewing (can one spew drivel?). It generally annoys me enough that I can shut him out for another few months. I never thought about the possibility that he's a mole working to discredit the Left. If so, he's doing a remarkable job.

Posted by: rlbtzero on February 6, 2003 06:12 PM

I agree Morford's horrible, but he's so over-the-top goshawful that it's fun to make fun of him. Like watching a train wreck.

Posted by: IB Bill on February 6, 2003 11:08 PM

Now, I haven't read young Mark, but from the description, he sounds like the Lefty Dark Side's answer to Ben Shapiro.

Posted by: Jane on February 6, 2003 11:58 PM

Morford is a bloviating idiot. I have rebutted a couple of his columns on my site, but eventually decided that he's not worth the effort. He is typical of the Bay area: long on crunchy granola rhetoric, and short on the protein of sound ideas.

Posted by: timekeeper on February 7, 2003 02:17 PM

I gave Morford another thorough thrashing today and then threw him in the garbage.

Posted by: michele on February 7, 2003 08:33 PM