October 29, 2002
Blowback From 'Hesiod'

Poor 'Hesiod' whines (10/29, 11:15:59 AM) that I "didn't bother" linking to him in yesterday's post. It would have been less bother to link than to put in the dates and times, but I have a policy of not linking to lying weasels. Of course, he doesn't bother to answer any of my objections to his argument.

Now he writes:

The act of Fellatio, between two consenting adults, can be quite fun.

That's certainly good to know. After a brief (and welcome) excursus explaining that his marital relations are none of our business, he continues:

If anything, it symbolizes a total and complete submission to another individual [or, more abstractly, an idea or cause].

Apparently poor Hesiod thinks of fellatio only as a way for the suckee to dominate the sucker (to put it crudely). That he still thinks it "quite fun" is disturbing, to say the least. The idea that some might like to give or receive fellatio (or cunnilingus) in a spirit of sharing or tenderness or love, or because they find that particular form of stimulation particularly stimulating, doesn't seem to have occurred to him. With 'Hesiod', it's all about domination and submission. If he ever hears about the "69" position, he will probably blow (if you'll excuse the pun) a mental gasket: how can A be dominating a submissive B while simultaneously submitting to a dominant A? It's like an M.C. Escher staircase, which goes down (sorry) in both directions!

Among many other hilariously stoopid things, he also writes:

Weevil, strangely, prefers that I compare him to Ari Fleischer or Karl Rove.

That's not at all what I said, or what I meant, of course. (It never is with 'Hesiod'.) And how strange is it to prefer being a Rove or a Fleischer to being a Riefenstahl? Surely only 'Hesiod' would choose the latter. He continues:

If you prefer, Weevy. Does that mean you admit to being a two-bit lying political hack, devoid of scruples, and with an abiding contempt for the American people?

Well, no. If that's what I thought of myself, I would have asked to be compared to 'Hesiod', who fits the bill in every detail. (Does this guy have any sense of irony whatsoever? He recently threatened to send his wife out to beat up anyone who called him "lame": isn't that threat kind of, well, lame?)

By the way, 'Hesiod' has finally learned to edit his spelling. His archives seem to be hosed, but one of his posts last week was only up for three days before he fixed the first word of the title: for 'THW' it now reads 'THE'. Rather like what Mary McCarthy said of Lillian Hellmann, every word 'Hesiod' writes is botched, even 'amd' and 'thw'.

Some of my commenters ask why I do not treat 'Hesiod' as a common troll and ignore him. As long as he has a place in the permalinks of respectable webloggers such as Ted Barlow and (perhaps not quite so respectable) Eric Alterman and Max Sawicky, I will keep pointing out his innumerable faults of logic, language, and common decency. They can keep linking to him, but others can also draw their own conclusions from the company they choose to keep.

Posted by Dr. Weevil at October 29, 2002 10:54 PM

I'm remembering Oscar Wilde Right now "Everything in life is really about sex. Except sex, sex is really about power".

If Hestoid ever got a sense of the infinitly complex role reversals and power games involved in sex (sex of the, as you so tastefully put it, "non-Euclidian" variety), he would most certainly blow a mental valve.

Posted by: Sean Kirby on October 30, 2002 06:37 PM

I'm surprised that hesiod is married - I would have bet that he was 13 years old.

As for fellatio, dear Doctor, I have to say that most people consider the blower to be submitting to the blowee. Usage trumps analysis when it comes to the question of whether "X is blowing Bush" is insulting to X. I think Hesiod is juvenile for resorting to this insult so regularly, but insult it is...

Posted by: godlesscapitalist on October 30, 2002 08:48 PM

I'm surprised that hesiod is married - I would have bet that he was 13 years old.

We really don't know that he isn't 13 years old. For all we know, the whole "married" thing could be a ploy to keep the rest of us from believing that Hesiod truly is as juvenile as he seems to be.

Either that, or Mrs. Theogeny [sic] is rather undiscriminating in her choice of menfolk. Who knows?

Posted by: Pejman Yousefzadeh on October 30, 2002 09:11 PM

Somehow the image of two 13 year olds being "married" for a school project where they have to care for a chicken egg for a week pops to mind.

Posted by: Robin Roberts on October 30, 2002 09:33 PM

Be fair, Doc!

"Amd", and "Thw" are not spelling errors, but obvious typographical errors. A spelling error is far more telling than bad typing... though one would hope that a blogger might be bothered to look his posts over for typos as well.

Posted by: Sigivald on October 31, 2002 06:07 PM

Your Escher staircase analogy reminded me of my wif's name for, ahem, giving and receiving at once.

The Mobius position.

Posted by: Kieran Lyons on November 1, 2002 06:30 PM

But wouldn't the 'Möbius position' mean that you were (how to put this politely?) front-to-front at one end and front-to-back at the other? Not to imply that that would be particularly easy for anyone except professional contortionists . . . .

Posted by: Dr. Weevil on November 1, 2002 06:54 PM

I couldn't even begin to contemplate the geometry without polishing off a bottle of wine.

Preferably a Klein bottle.

Posted by: CGHill on November 2, 2002 12:06 PM