October 20, 2002
A Safe Prediction?

I predict that by the Ides of March at the latest, the percentage of adult Iraqi males living outside of no-fly zones who wear thick moustaches will have fallen from more than 90 to less than three. I further predict that most of that three percent will be in jails or prison camps. Anyone care to argue with me?

Whether Iraqi men will line up at the barbershops like Afghans and ask for the clean-shaven Bush look is not so easy to predict. Perhaps some will opt for full beards, or goatees, or Fu Manchus, or muttonchops, though all of those take more time than a simple shave. Perhaps some will just severely prune their moustaches for the Wayne Newton look. But I'm guessing that the thick bushy moustache will be out of style in Iraq for at least a couple of generations.

Posted by Dr. Weevil at October 20, 2002 09:18 PM

I might be late on this but why isn't Saddam wearing his uniform anymore?

Posted by: Rico Suave on October 21, 2002 11:54 PM

It's actually stranger than that. I've been noticing a freakish variety of headgear appearing on Saddam's head.

He's been sporting berets, fedoras, caps and other hats whose names I do not know. This has gone along with military uniforms, pinstripe suits, sweatsuits, bullet-proof vests, etc. Every time I see a picture of him, he's dressed differently, it seems.

I'm guessing that the supposed cadre of lookalikes is not terribly well coordinated...

Posted by: Mac on October 22, 2002 12:50 AM

Spreading baldspot, maybe?

Posted by: David Perron on October 22, 2002 11:13 AM

The guy's a GQ clothes horse.

Posted by: Chuck on October 22, 2002 03:01 PM

I read somewhere that Saddam is now wearing a Kevlar hat that's supposed to be bulletproof.

Posted by: Joanne Jacobs on October 22, 2002 09:00 PM


It could be a combination of male pattern baldness and the kind of vanity that encourages combovers, but I like to think it's the other kind of baldness, where extreme nervousness (e.g. nightmares about daisy cutters and JDAMs) causes one's hair to fall out in clumps.

Posted by: Dr. Weevil on October 22, 2002 09:50 PM

Can we please not rag on bald people? I have a vested interest in this practice being stopped ASAP.

Posted by: Pejman Yousefzadeh on October 22, 2002 11:30 PM

No one's criticizing bald people -- I'm certainly in no position to do so -- just vain bald people who try to cover their baldness.

Posted by: Dr. Weevil on October 22, 2002 11:37 PM