September 24, 2002
This Is Just Too Easy

Apropos of nothing particularly intelligent or interesting, 'Hesiod' writes (08:31:22 PM):

Chickenbloggers can now, as a good friend of mine in college used to say, "suck my crank."

Just how good a friend was he? In what circumstances would he say these words? And what generally happened next? Only 'Hesiod' and his 'friend' know for sure. Not that there's anything wrong with whatever it was they did . . . .

If my joke seems a bit harsh, that is partly because 'Hesiod' continues to crawl deeper into the sewer of invective, partly because I happened to be reading the internet Classics list today when the original, genuine Hesiod was mentioned. I found to my sorrow that I had developed a mild aversion to his very name, and a preference for the Works and Days over the Theogony, when I used to prefer the latter. It's bad enough that "Hesiod Theogeny [sic]" the leftie blogger stinks up the internet, but now he's interfering with my enjoyment of classical literature. Of course, Engelbert Humperdinck the contemporary crooner has had a similar effect on most people's enjoyment of Engelbert Humperdinck the late Romantic composer. It is now impossible to take the latter as seriously as he deserves, though I suppose we would find his name a bit silly even if it had never been appropriated by another.

Posted by Dr. Weevil at September 24, 2002 10:52 PM

Ever notice the structural parallel between "Engelbert" and "Humperdinck"? Disregarding the H, each name consists of [vowel] [nasal] [stop] [schwa] [liquid] [voiced stop] [vowel] [voiced continuant] [unvoiced stop]. From this material one could construct at least 2^7 parody names like "Hungerbint Empelderck".

Posted by: Anton Sherwood on September 25, 2002 01:57 PM

Anton, you should try to watch Eddie Izzard's "Dressed to Kill" special on HBO. He has a bit about that: apparently he (Izzard) was unaware of the composer, and he imagined the managers of Gerry (Engelbert) Dorsey trying to come up with his new stage name:

"Dinglebert Humptyback? Gringlebick Dusseldorf? Engelbert Humperdinck? Rumpledump Bangleding?..."

"Wait, wait ... back up one, would you?"

(What, you expected me to say something on-topic?)

Posted by: Kevin Shaum on September 25, 2002 03:56 PM

How about Hesiod Shropshire?

Posted by: Fred P on September 25, 2002 07:32 PM