June 17, 2002
More Wimpy Team Names

Joanne Jacobs and others have been talking about wimpy names for high school sports teams. Here's one they seem to have missed: I'm told that the Key School in Annapolis, Maryland, calls its teams the 'Gazebos'. I can't confirm that from the school's web site, but it does use an architectural gazebo as the school symbol.

If you count college teams, there's the 'Fighting Banana Slugs' of the University of California at Santa Cruz. The SlugWeb site offers T-shirts, caps, and mugs. The slug mascot depicted on them seems to be wearing glasses, which is a little creepy, though not as bad as the fetal pig I had to dissect in college. He came from the "Happy Pig Farm", along with a waxed paper "parts bag" depicting a smiling hand-on-hip Disney-style pig in a tutu. As various ancient Greeks said, "best of all never to be born".

Posted by Dr. Weevil at June 17, 2002 06:37 PM

Or my high school alma mater - Sidney Lanier High School, with its ferociously named team - the Poets!

Scary, I know.

Posted by: andy on June 17, 2002 10:32 PM

My first high school had The Monarchs and my second had The Saints.

Sadly, the roaring Monarch lion mewed when faced with competition and the Saints were more demonic when on the field...


Posted by: ravenwolf on June 18, 2002 01:34 AM

I'd say the wimpiest college name is the Stanford Cardinal. They get double points for it being a wimpy name and for it coming from caving to PC activists and removing an earlier, "offensive" Indian name.

As for high school, the small town of Teuropolis, Illinois play under the name of the Wooden Shoes. (Although strangely, they don't actually wear wooden shoes in the competitions.)


Posted by: Doug Turnbull on June 18, 2002 10:57 AM

Cal-Irvine had my previous favorite-the Anteaters, but the Fightin' Banana Slugs just moved to the top.

Posted by: Mark Byron on June 18, 2002 12:29 PM

In Baltimore, we have the Dunbar H.S. 'Poets' and in the suburbs, UMBC, U. of Md, Baltimore County teams are the 'Retrievers.' Also, the terrapin is a shy (and edible) turtle, so hardly a championship nickname for U.Md College Park.

Posted by: steve on June 18, 2002 09:47 PM

The nickname of the Key School of Annapolis is actually Obezags - not gazebos. Gazebos filled an old farm which eventually became the school site. When picking a nickname, the students reversed the word gazebo and came up with their name.

Posted by: Gary on June 23, 2003 06:38 PM

Glen Burnie High school in Maryland are the gophers~they are the gopher girls~they go for gopher guys~but they don't go for them~I wonder why (gopher noises)

Posted by: Erin on December 4, 2003 07:03 PM

Yes. I'm from Maine. I know because my high school mascot was the lumberjack.

Posted by: Rebecca V Low on December 10, 2003 11:15 AM

The Stupidest name in College History is the Chanticleers, I mean what the heck is that a Chanticleer I mean i go to a college "the fightin blue hens" but at least I know what that is!

Posted by: Luol Deng on April 30, 2004 11:38 AM

The stupidest name in college history is the QUAKERS. What the F*** is up with that. I mean Luol Deng is the best player in the NCAA. I think best is the BLUE DEVILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Lewy Lewy Deng Deng on April 30, 2004 11:43 AM

Saint Francis Red Flash is bad. Friars? Saints? Seraphs? Hilltoppers? Highlanders? Mountineers? Mountainmen? NO....RED FLASH. WHY?!?!?!

OTher bad ones, The Ramapo Roadrunners, Saint Peters Peacocks, Syracuse Orange.

Saint Rose HS of NJ Purple Roses. I go to a school where we don't like them, so Purple Roses is not exactly what we call them.

Point Beach Garnet Gulls of NJ. If a Garnet Gull is an angry bird, they sure don't play like them.

My favorites:
Bishop Carroll Huskies
Mater Dei Seraphs
Duke Blue Devils
Central Cambria Red Devils
Phillipsburg Stateliners.

Posted by: Al on June 22, 2004 12:05 AM

in response to the crazy mascot names out there, there are some pretty crazy ones, but before you go bashing a school mascot i think you should atleast know what it is FOR EXAMPLE.... YOU SAY KEY SCHOOL GAZEBOS IS WHIMPY.... hmm i went there for 7 years and graduated and never was i a gazebo... try OBEZAG or ZAG for short!!! it may be gazebo spelled backwards, but who has more creativity than that!!!! Go terrapins... UMD 2006!

Posted by: Krazykourts on July 8, 2004 06:33 PM

You have to go wa-a-a-y back to the late 50's,
but New York University sports teams were nicknamed "The Violets"!

Posted by: chacha on July 23, 2004 10:03 PM