June 12, 2002
The Perfect Meal

Josh Treviño of treviño@i330.org has a link to an Indonesian website "advocating a boycott of Coca-Cola on the grounds that it, er, supports Israel". (No anchor links, but it's item 6 on June 10th.) Of course, the effect on me is to confirm my already-strong preference for Coke over Pepsi.

Similarly, the War on Terror has encouraged me not only to fly a flag on my site, but also to eat more pork, drink more alcohol, listen to more unIslamic music, and generally do all the things Islamicists hate. The infidel or 'Homer Simpson' diet (porkchops, ham, bacon, and beer) may not be healthy, but it is patriotic.

Advice to Steven Den Beste: You might have gotten less grief from Eric Olsen and others if you had claimed that you only ogle young women in string bikinis to annoy Islamicist fanatics and support the war effort.

Posted by Dr. Weevil at June 12, 2002 10:51 AM

I do it when I don't think people are watching.

Eat pork, I mean.

Posted by: Jeff G on June 12, 2002 07:40 PM

Now if we can convince more young attractive women to wear string bikinis to support the war effort!

Posted by: Basilisk on June 13, 2002 12:43 AM

You do realize, of course, that all the pork could tick off the Israelis. I think that the best way to anger the Islamo-fascists is to produce pictures of naked women a la den Beste.

Posted by: Pejman Yousefzadeh on June 13, 2002 01:26 AM

I didn't mean to imply that you have to eat pork, Pejman, I just said I'm eating more of it.
Anyone who avoids pork for religious or ethical (i.e. vegetarian) reasons will just have to make up for it by increasing his/her consumption of alcohol, music, casual sex, drugs, porn, whatever else would irritate a mullah.
I think it's worth emphasizing that in liberated Afghanistan women are not forced to give up their burqas. Some still wear them, some don't, some probably go back and forth. (Even the most liberated Afghan high school girl must be tempted to get the old burqa out of storage when her complexion flares up.) Same with pork in America: avoid it if you want to, but don't try to stop me from eating it.

Posted by: Dr. Weevil on June 13, 2002 01:42 AM

Out of personal conviction, I do not drink ethyl alcohol. My doctor says I should reduce fats (goodbye pork and bacon!). My wife would dismember me if I looked at pornography -- what am I to do? [ Maybe my answer is in the first part of the 3rd question -- I am already doing something to annoy the mullahs!! My wife works! She does NOT wear a burka! Maybe THAT will annoy the mullahs!]

Any other ideas for me (to annoy the mullahs)?

Posted by: A Foth on June 13, 2002 10:16 AM

A Foth: yeah, just look at your wife's naked body while making love to her with Diana Krall playing the background. That would piss off the mullahs and throughoughly please your wife. Everybody wins!

Posted by: Geoff on June 13, 2002 01:17 PM

And don't forget: any kind of music except military marches and Islamic religious music is strictly forbidden. So take your pick from classical, country, bebop, hiphop, and a dozen other varieties. And don't forget Jewish or Christian music. For the latter, you don't have to listen to 'contemporary Christian': there's the B-Minor Mass and a thousand other works.

Of course, dancing, flying kites, and watching G-rated movies are all unIslamic, too, or at least antiTalibanic and antiWahabistical. I'm sure I'm forgetting something else that is both thoroughly wholesome and extremely repugnant to mullahs.

Posted by: Dr. Weevil on June 13, 2002 01:23 PM

Recommended listening: "Rock the Casbah" by The Clash. "Shar'ia don't like it..."

Posted by: Murti Bing on June 13, 2002 02:55 PM

Oh don't worry, I'm not trying to curb pork eating. I just think that the excess porn (is there such a thing as "excess porn") is the most ecumenical way to piss off the Islamo-fascists. That's all.

Posted by: Pejman Yousefzadeh on June 13, 2002 05:22 PM

One way to piss off the Islamofascists would be to ostentatiously read "The Satanic Verses" in public. In the West you are not likely to get shot by some nutjob for doing so. That's if you can stand reading Salman Rushdie, of course.

Posted by: Michael Lonie on June 16, 2002 08:19 PM