December 06, 2002
A Couple Of Foul Tales

CPO Sparkey at Sgt. Stryker links to an amusing story from the Dallas News about a thief who stole some unattended bags from a pickup truck, not knowing that they contained only "pet waste". The comments report that it was a hoax, but it reminded me of a newspaper story (perhaps equally false) that I read something like 15 years ago.

A man broke into a slaughterhouse after midnight, parked by the loading dock, and filled up the trunk of his car with several hundred pounds of very fresh meat. He either didn't bother to check the labels on the boxes, or was afraid to use any lights to do so. I like to think it was the former, and that he was thinking "filet mignon? T-bone? spareribs? porterhouse? whatever, it'll be a wonderful surprise -- how could fresh beef not be valuable?". When the police arrived, he found that all of the boxes were packed with fresh-cut cattle rectums, on their way to a pet-food factory: not worth eating, and not worth selling on the black market, since the total value was negligible and customers would have been few. I guess the silver lining was that the value was too low to make the theft a felony.

Posted by Dr. Weevil at December 06, 2002 08:48 PM